It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
