he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
