I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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