my mouth tastes like poor choices
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
