the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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