Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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