Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
