A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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