new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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