So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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