only if we run a train.
done.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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