i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
