the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
