sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
