Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
