Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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