this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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