he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
