p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
