so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
