Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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