people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
