yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
