maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
is wine microwaveable?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
