I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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