it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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