i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
