He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
