Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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