They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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