Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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