I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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