Midget sex pt 2 tonight
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
