Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
