I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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