The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
