you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
