I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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