i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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