She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
