Can i not drive my cunt home
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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