Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
