You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
