shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
pop tarts are not kleenex
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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