Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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