at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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