There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
