In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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