Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i dont even know how to be here
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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