Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
