they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
