Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
