i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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