IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.