You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
