im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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