come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
