he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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