i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
