direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
